I am a dog. I have allergies that cause me to chew off my own butt. In order to curb my auto-carnivorous tendencies, my master gives me pills. But I do not like the taste of pills. So, in order to trick me into eating these pills, my master stuffs them into a piece of bread,…
Utilizing the subtle art of animatronic creepy voiceover, this video teaches us that not all Lutherans are exactly the same, in that some Lutherans are Lutherans while others are the ELCA (Evangelical Church in America). This teaching is accomplished through the careful juxtaposition of contrasting themes. A woman, whom I shall refer to as Hipster…
The death of American Christianity will not come from the hands of Caesar or secular culture. It will not be destroyed by White House legislation or Hollywood depictions of premarital sex. The death of American Christianity will come from the hands of neat ideas. Neat Ideas: Practices which are introduced into the Divine Service not…
The problem with genuine prophets is that they’re boring and predictable. They don’t make for an intriguing story. To illustrate this point, if you made a Hollywood thriller about a true prophet’s life and preaching, the synopsis here’s how the synopsis would go: Police in Los Angeles are baffled by a string of brutal homicides…
I’m feeling all nostalgic. My very first Lutheran Satire video. Actually I think I made Liturgical Dance first, but then somehow I uploaded them backwards. Oh well. This was back when I didn’t know how to frame a shot or use video editing software. The good old days. Anyway, when it comes to pink chasubles,…
After graduating from Concordia Theological Seminary with a Masters of Arts in Historical Theology, I went to work for a Lutheran non-profit organization. While visiting with a retired pastor one day, I told him the degree I had earned. “You went to the seminary?” he asked. “How did you get out of there single?” …
Ok, so I don’t try very hard. That’s true. And I recycle heresies like they’re empty two liters of Tab Cola (the official soft drink of Hell). But I couldn’t get away with being lazy and unoriginal if you guys didn’t fall for this stuff every time. So let’s review some history: About 3500 years…
Once upon a time in ancient Bulgondia, there was a local scientist named Turgon. Turgon the Scientist fancied himself a man of reason and evidence and facts. He never cared much for the temple rituals of the village priests. He scoffed at the notion that leaving offerings of wheat or grains or yak gut flan…
There once was a bear named Duncan, kind and sensitive but rather timid and quite terrified of being caught by hunters. Hunting season seemed a bit busier than in recent years and gun-toting bear shooters seemed to be getting a bit more aggressive in their efforts to hunt down their prey, so Duncan spent much…
How to Be Really Terrible at Interpreting the Bible
Have you ever wanted to lord your own personal theology over the theology of the Scriptures but didn’t know how? The “How To” Show is here to help. The Bible is supposed to kill you. Granted, it will also make you alive. But when the Bible speaks the Word of Law, it’s supposed to kill…