What Religion Should You Be?

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Choosing a spiritual path can be SO confusing these days, amiright? Take this quiz to figure out which altar you should be kneeling at!

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Question 1 of 5

1. Question
How would you describe God?
- An impersonal divine force that governs the universe but doesn’t intervene in the affairs of mankind.
- A deity who is found in the depths of my soul.
- A deity that is equally present in every world religion.
- Triune. God is three persons, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, but one God.
Correct. You’ve read your Bible.

Wrong. The answer was E. Read your Bible.
Question 2 of 5

2. Question
Who do you think Jesus is?
- Jesus never existed.
- An historical figure who was far different from how he was presented in the Bible.
- A prophet, but not divine.
- A God-like creature who performed miracles.
- The virgin born Son of God, fully human and fully divine, who won salvation for mankind through His death and resurrection.
Once again, you are right.

No, dummy. You’re wrong. It was E again. The Bible. Read it.
Question 3 of 5

3. Question
How do you think people inherit eternal life?
- There is no such thing as eternal life.
- By trying their best to be moral people according to their own understanding of morality.
- By obeying the Ten Commandments
- By finding God within themselves.
- By the saving work of Jesus Christ, received through faith in Him.
This is also correct, but I feel like you’re sort of missing the point here.

Seriously? What is wrong with you? E, moron. It was E. Do you even own a Bible? Or are you just clicking the first thing you can because you have the reading comprehension skills of a water chestnut?
Question 4 of 5

4. Question
What kind of worship service do you prefer?
- None
- One with elements from various world religions where people are encouraged to find their own path to God.
- I don’t need to worship with other people. I connect to God best when by myself.
- A rock concert with a 45 minute sermon about how Jesus is off the chain and stuff.
- A service centered on the preaching of God’s Word and the administration of His Sacraments, as these are the means through which God comes to us, forgives us, saves us, and grants us eternal life.
You have answered correctly, Captain Obvious.

No one cares what you ‘prefer,’ doofus. Read the Bible and worship God the way He prefers. Good grief, man.
Question 5 of 5

5. Question
Which of the following writings do you think best explains the teachings of the Bible?
- “Why Christianity Must Change or Die” by John Shelby Spong
- “The Catechism of the Catholic Church” by the popes and stuff
- “The Purpose Driven Life” by Rick Warren
- “The Da Vinci Code” by Dan Brown
- The Book of Concord
Seriously, you came to this site and answered these questions right? Go back and select some wrong answers so you can appreciate all the hard work I put into this quiz to make it funny.

YOU SHOULD BE A LUTHERAN. SO STOP BEING WRONG ABOUT EVERYTHING AND START BEING A LUTHERAN, STUPID.

What Religion Should You Be?

Quiz-summary

Information

Choosing a spiritual path can be SO confusing these days, amiright? Take this quiz to figure out which altar you should be kneeling at!

Results

Categories

1. Question

How would you describe God?

Correct. You’ve read your Bible.

Wrong. The answer was E. Read your Bible.

2. Question

Who do you think Jesus is?

Once again, you are right.

No, dummy. You’re wrong. It was E again. The Bible. Read it.

3. Question

How do you think people inherit eternal life?

This is also correct, but I feel like you’re sort of missing the point here.

Seriously? What is wrong with you? E, moron. It was E. Do you even own a Bible? Or are you just clicking the first thing you can because you have the reading comprehension skills of a water chestnut?

4. Question

What kind of worship service do you prefer?

You have answered correctly, Captain Obvious.

No one cares what you ‘prefer,’ doofus. Read the Bible and worship God the way He prefers. Good grief, man.

5. Question

Which of the following writings do you think best explains the teachings of the Bible?

Seriously, you came to this site and answered these questions right? Go back and select some wrong answers so you can appreciate all the hard work I put into this quiz to make it funny.

YOU SHOULD BE A LUTHERAN. SO STOP BEING WRONG ABOUT EVERYTHING AND START BEING A LUTHERAN, STUPID.

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