Mr. Thompson and the Vicar have enlisted a few friends to fight 21st century biblical illiteracy and unchurchiness by updating the worst Christmas song ever written.
OK, so some of you, primarily the insufferable millennials, don’t get what I’m spoofing here. Click this link to get some culture.
Others, primarily the aged and feeble boomers, have asked me to post the lyrics because you sandblasted your eardrums listening to David Cassidy back in the day. So here you go:
VICAR
It’s Christmastime, and we know why we celebrate
MR. THOMPSON
‘Cuz at Christmastime, the love of Christ, it conquers hate
LUTHER
And with this word of comfort, we can know salvation’s joy
Get to church and grab your Bible. It’s Christmastime!
BART
But say a prayer. Pray for the other ones
FRANK
Those who won’t go to mass ‘cuz there is football on
PASTOR
There’s a world outside your window
PASTOR AND PATRICK
Where they’ve clearly lost their way
CALVIN AND PREACHER JEFF
Where the only book they’re reading is that 50 Shades of Grey
DONALL AND CONALL
And their children don’t know Jesus. But they sure know Pikachu
BONO
Well, tonight thank God it’s them instead of you
DONALL
Yeah, no, don’t remotely thank God for that. That’s a terrible prayer.
GROUP
And there might be snow in Michigan this Christmastime
But snow don’t rescue squat from death and sin
So when they can’t even spell
Savior or Emmanuel
Do they know what Christmas is at all?
HORUS
Do you…wait, what part is this? I don’t know this part.
Is this the bridge? No one knows the bridge to this song.
Why didn’t I get a better part?
Don’t you know who Horus is at all?
GROUP
Read the Word
Read the Word
Read the Word. Let them know what Christmas is again
Go to church. Let them know what Christmas is again
Read the Word. Let them know what Christmas is again
Go to church. Let them know what Christmas is again
